come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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