I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
