Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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