remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
