I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
