It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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