so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
