I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
