YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
