Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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