we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
