it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
