Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
