ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
