PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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