after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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