Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
