You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
