Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
