I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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