I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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