How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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