Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
