your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
