So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Life is so much better after having sex.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
