take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
