Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
