Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
