last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
