And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
