So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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