You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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