i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
