I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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