It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
this just has baby written all over it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize