have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I could fuck to npr.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
