Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
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