He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
