My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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