so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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