Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
