So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
