That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
