she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
