i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
