hotel room ftw
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
