these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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