you win again, gameday.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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