When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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