tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
