Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
