its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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