i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
