I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize