This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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