I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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