please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
