shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
