Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
