i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
