Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
