how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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