eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize