Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
