I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
