I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
