kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
