ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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