If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
