we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
